Nowadays, keeping a healthy self-esteem is hard, we are bombarded with the idea of the perfect life, the perfect family, and the perfect body. It’s super complicated not to compare yourself with others, specially in times when people use their social media platforms to publish the best parts of their lives, and not the daily struggles (aka the reality). For this reason, I’m going to name some ideas that will help you be more confident and love yourself, as they are helping me.
1. Commit to Learn from every situation
Most people try to protect themselves from taking responsibility of their own acts and experiencing pain. It makes sense, it is harder to say “I did it, it was my fault.” It’s easier to avoid owing the situation and blaming others.
On the other hand, every situation can be a great opportunity to learn and discover something we were missing. Everything really happens for a reason! You can always improve and be more attentive to situations, people and behaviors. This behavior will take you to a happier state of mind, with full responsibility.
2. Accept your feelings, even pain
You might find you try to avoid negative feelings, simply because they don’t make you feel good. The reality is that, as a human, you’ll fell both: positive and negative feelings. The key is to learn to embrace all of your feelings, but with compassion, with love. Instead of asking why you feel certain way, ask yourself what for. What do you need to learn from it, what can you do about it, or what can you do for others with your experience.
3. Listen To Yourself
Learn to start a dialogue with your believes. Be mindful of what you tell to yourself. Please don’t forget you need to talk to yourself like you talk to others: nicely! In addition, listen to your higher-self, to your wiser-self. Be open to learn to consciously listen to your thoughts, they might have the answers you’ve be looking for. These answers can come to you as a feeling, a dream, or a memory. Sometimes, the answers can even come from someone else. Everyone comes to your life for a reason, even if it’s for 2 minutes. Be open to learn what they came to teach you.
On a personal note, I had the vision of this website one night, I don’t know if it was a dream or I was awake, but the idea and answers were flowing to me. This was pretty cool and it’s real!
4. Act on what your inner self told you
Now that you paying closer attention to what you tell to yourself, and you’ve learned to listen, it’s time to put it into practice. It is all about trusting yourself, with love and compassion. This will help you heal from the inside out. When you’re in peace with your inner self depression, anxiety, and shame go away, because there’s no room for them inside your head or heart. This will flow as a result of knowing and loving yourself; but it cannot be forced, it’s a natural flow.
5. Confront your believes
Even if what you believe is painful at times, it is very beneficial to analyze a person or situation that is a source of pain to you, and examine it closely. Ask yourself why is it painful to you. Examine your believes and feelings, and try to find the answers you need to be in peace. I once heard that if it hurts, there’s a wound inside you that hasn’t healed yet.
6. Its all about trial an error
You need to evaluate and readjust as you go. If you feel like there’s stuff still holding you back, or like you haven’t completely achieved the steps mentioned above, change things up and try again. Seeing a therapist is also a great idea, and I can tell you there are at least 10 Reasons to See a Therapist. They will point out things that seem completely normal to you, but could be the source of your behavior, thought or feeling.
Our lives are a process of learning and bettering ourselves, constantly. Continue being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and place close attention to them. Be open and receptive, the answers could be coming your way already; but, if you’re not open to receive them, you will miss them.
If your pain and shame are not beginning to heal, then go back through the steps again. Continue to examine your thoughts and feelings, continue to be open and receptive to your intuitions, and continue to closely examine your behaviors and beliefs… and you will discover love, peace, happiness, and a deep sense of worth.